


Dear Major Gilbert

by ShadowBest



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Doctor - Freeform, Emotional Characters, Emotional Longing, Emotions, F/M, Head Nurse - Freeform, Healing, Healing Violet, Judgemental Nurses, Letters, Military Hospital, Other Nurses, Violet's trying to understand, reports
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-23 08:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19147354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowBest/pseuds/ShadowBest
Summary: A Series of One-Shots depicting letters and reports written by Violet while she was in the Hospital.





	1. Not in Vain

**Author's Note:**

> The Major's Final Actions weren't wasted.

_Major Gilbert,_

_I’ve been in the hospital based in Enchaine for two months now. The Doctor is allowing me to write today._

_He states that my skin is healing well, though I shouldn’t do much, in fear of aggravating it. But I must write this report, as you had ordered of me in the past._

_I can still feel the pain. The heat of the blast against my skin. The taste of gunpowder still resides on my tongue._

_I’ve told this to the nurses when they asked. They seem uncomfortable with my wounds. Their eyes refusing to meet my own, darting away from my gaze. I can see the moment when they see my wounds. Eyes widen, then they flinch, as if I had attacked them._

_After that, they leave soon after; muttering about reports. But I know they don’t want to be in the same room as me. I am a reminder of the war. Of all the pain and torment, of dark times they wish to forget. The nurses didn’t want to tell me._

_They hadn’t meant to let it slip just yet. But I can hear their whispers as I lie awake at night; unable to sleep on the bed. Though they try to be quiet, with only my breathing to keep me company; it isn’t hard for me to hear their words._

_We won the war, Major. I know, deep down, I didn’t need their confirmation. I can feel it. As if a weight has been lifted. However, it is nice to have the fact confirmed._

_Your efforts weren’t in vain._

_Violet_


	2. Reflections in the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet writes of the ocean breeze and the memories that come with it.

_Major Gilbert,_

_Today, I can smell the sea. Its salty scent riding the breeze, drifting in slowly through the open window above my head._

_I had almost forgotten what the water smelt like. Tangy and sharp, briny. I didn’t remember at first, it had been so long. I had asked my nurse what the scent was. She hadn’t been able to hide the surprise that flickered across her face._

_She asked if I had ever seen the Ocean._

_When I told her that I didn't know what that word had meant, there was a brief flash upon her face. It darkened her eyes and marred her features. The emotion was brief, but still there. Smiling, she shook her head before taking the time to explain what the ocean is._

_Listening to her explain, I realize that I have seen it. It was where the Captain had first come across me._

_I told her of how Captain Dietfried found me, what his men had tried to do to me. What I had done to survive. I could see the smile on her lips fade away. Her brown eyes, usually so bright, no matter if the sun were shining upon her, darkened as my words sunk in. For a moment, she seemed scared._

_Did I do something wrong, Major?_

_Violet_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post another chapter. I know I was saying one, but I decided to do a couple more to let you guys better see the style of this story.


	3. Grey Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the healing pains of her new arms, Violet can't help but wonder where the Major is.

_Major Gilbert,_

_It is raining today. The Doctor refuses to have the windows opened. The nurses seem surprised by the weather. They say it is an uncommon occurrence._

_They had checked my wounds again this morning. Admittedly, it had stung as their cool fingers touched me. Even though I told them of it, they still smiled. Yet, the emotion didn’t quite reach their eyes. They told me everything was fine and not to worry._

_In spite of their assurance, I couldn’t help but feel as if they were lying._

_As I look out the window, my legs curled up under me, new prosthetic arms gleaming dully in filtered light, I wonder where you are, Major._

_Do you see what I see? The clouds above, grey and thick as they block out the sun. Rain falling in heavy sheets and making the ground slick and sticky with mud. It’s cold in my empty room, the shadows dark and clinging as they linger in the corners._

_Where are you, Major? Is it raining, wherever you are?_

_Violet_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter uploaded for the night. I'll try to post more tomorrow. But I can't make any promises. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read.


	4. Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet reminisces the sense of Touch

_Major Gilbert,_

 

_The Doctor let me out today. He said I could sit outside for some time. Though, I couldn’t help but to wander, he didn’t want me too far._

 

_The nurse had wrapped my prosthetics in gauze before I came out. I can feel my skin pull and burn as they hang by my sides. I am not yet use to their new weight. It aches, but I haven’t told them. I relish in the familiar sensation._

 

_I can’t feel anything else, Major. Not like I use to. I touched the bark of a tree today, and though I felt the weight of it on my fingertips, and I could hear the bark scrape against metal, I couldn’t feel the heat it had pulled from the sun against my palm. When I pulled my hand away, I see the rainwater which seeped into the gauze, yet; I feel no trickle of water on my fingertips._

 

_I look at my new hands. My fingers flex when I want them to. My wrists twist when I wish it so. Fingers curl into my palm like the Doctor asked. He was very happy with my progress. But I can’t feel any of it._

 

_I cannot feel the callouses I once had, though I remember with clarity where they marred my skin. There is no longer the tingling sensation of nails scratching against my skin. Nails no longer bite into the soft skin of my palms. When I bring my fingers up to my nose, there is no longer the embedded scent of the earth and artillery powder, only the tangy, coiling odor of metal._

 

_I can see the lingering looks the nurses give me when they see me bite into the palm of my hand. I can hear their whispers, though I don’t see their lips move, hidden by their hair and delicate hands. They say that I am strange, many think it odd when I bite things._

 

_Do you think I am strange, Major?_

 

_Violet_


	5. The Abyss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet Is suffering from PTSD

_Major Gilbert,_

 

_The nurses fear me. Many of them refuse to meet my eye. I see their hands tremble as they change my bandages, their fingers quivering against my brow when taking my temperature._

 

_I think they hear me scream at night. When I manage to sleep, I feel as if I’m falling into a dark abyss. Memories which I’ve repressed, surfacing once more, horrors we have experienced together battering against me. The feeling of the rifle’s recoil when I shoot. The hard ground meeting the soles of my boot as I run across the battlefield._

 

_All around me, the dying screams of my allies and enemies; many falling by my own hands, through my own actions._

 

_The blood as it splashed into my hair, warm, crimson liquid dripping across my face; the heavy weight of a dead man on my back. The earth trembling from the force of the cannons. As I move, I’m overcome with a crippling emotion; it is heavy and unfamiliar._

 

_I don’t understand the weight I have in my chest. Why it is harder now for me to breathe._

 

_What is it I am feeling, Major?_

 

_Violet_

 


	6. The Sun Shining Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet wonders about another life

_Major Gilbert,_

_The sun is very warm today. I can’t help but to enjoy the heat. How the rays fall upon my face, a gentle warmth seeping into my skin. It is not something I’ve really felt before._

_The Doctor once more allowed me outside, he said it would be best for me to get fresh air. He said he is worried of me breathing stagnant air._

_I could feel the grass sway gently around my ankles. It is an odd, yet pleasant sensation. The blades are damp under my bare feet._

_I can feel winter coming. Though the sun hasn’t lost its intensity in the past days, the air was cold this morning, bearing a bite to it; much like the freezing winds on the front line. Despite the frigid current, I welcomed the chill. It was a nice change from the heated, stifling air inside of my room._

_As I enjoyed my time outside, I heard laughter. A sweet, happy sound drifting gently on the cold wind. When I looked towards the sound, I found the Head Nurse and the Doctor on the front porch. As I watched, the Nurse leaned in; hand blocking the tilt of her lips as she whispered into his ear, too quietly for me to hear. She must’ve said something pleasant, for he had laughed too; a low chuckle escaping his lips as a tint of red came to his cheeks._

_The Nurse seemed pleased that he wouldn’t meet her gaze._

_Watching them, I feel my chest warm, an unfamiliar emotion filling me. Despite the unusual sensation, I don’t think it is an unpleasant one._

_Do you think Major, if we lived a different life; we would act much of the same way?_

_Violet_


	7. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet longs for the Major's Presence

_Major Gilbert,_

_Colonel Hodgins came to visit me today. He said when the Doctor releases me, I am to come home with him. Is this true, Major? Where will you be, when I am to leave the Hospital? Will you be with him on that day?_

_Many days have passed by, I feel if it were not for these reports, I would have lost track of my time spent here. As I re-read drafts; I can’t help but wonder, are you reading these, Major? Though I wake up most mornings, wishing you were in the bed beside mine, I find myself relieved._

_Despite my longing to see you. I know it means you have not suffered the same injuries I have._

_Violet_


	8. Teachings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Violet sees a new side to her nurses, she can't help but to reflect on what the Major has taught her.

_Major Gilbert,_

_Many of the nurses refuse to look at me anymore. Though they will complete their duty to tend to the injured, I can feel their desire to put distance between us. No longer do they soften their words when speaking of certain things. They do not hide behind their hands, nor do they allow their dark hair to act as curtains when they whisper of me. Even when the Doctor is near, they no longer curb their words when they know I can hear._

_**“She is a Monster.”** They say, the barb biting into me as it drifts to my ears. **“Nothing more than a tool.”** Their words drip with disdain and loathing. Though they won’t meet my eye, I can still see theirs. I see the revulsion and the fear they hold of me._

_One morning, when I had dared to ask a nurse what was wrong, she hesitated. Deliberating if she should even speak to me._

_Finally, she deigned to answer. Her eyes met mine. Usually a beautiful, molten silver; in that moment, they were hardened into steel. **“You are a weapon of war.”** The woman’s voice came out in a quiet hiss. **“You, a monstrous tool, have spilt the blood of good people.”** Then, she left; skirts rustling across the wooden floor._

_I am left, Major, wondering about my time in battle. Was I not a good soldier? Following your orders and those of higher standing. Did I not do as I was told?_

_I can’t help but to remember your yelling, the night of Intense; hours before we went into the final battle. You had spoken of how you took me in, forged me into what I am today. My stomach twists as I remember the sorrow which filled your eyes, tears glistening at the corner of emerald; how your lip quivered as you breathed._

_It is through your teachings Major, that I am able to understand as much as I am today. Though I have many things to learn; you still helped me. It is because of the actions you have taken for me that I am as I am today._

_I’ve seen things many others haven’t; left with memories of dark, painful days. A being forged from experiences and learnings different from others, I may never be able to understand things as certain people do._

_Knowing all of this, I am left with a single thought, one which tethers me to a sense of stability; I stand by what I said, Major, I need your orders to live. With them, I feel as if I can go anywhere._

_Violet_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is the longest letter yet at 437 words. :) But I also wanted to let you know, this is also the last of my pre-written ones. So, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to churn them out as quickly as I have been. 
> 
> Despite this I hope you've enjoyed reading these as much as I have writing them and that you'll stick around for more, because I am not done yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the rights nor the characters to Violet Evergarden, Netflix and the Author do. I'm simply playing with them.
> 
> Thank you guys for reading this. I'm sorry there isn't a lot. But they are meant to be short. While I want to make each Letter/Report have a base and a certain topic for each one. I know Violet's style (especially in the beginning) was concise and to the point, certainly not wordy like I've displayed here.
> 
> I do want to see how people are receptive to this idea, and while I know not everyone will be. This will be a standalone for now.
> 
> The other chapters are still in the works and will be posted at a later date. I just wanted to post this one now.


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